NOTES for Mat 19:1-12
Today's reading continues the series of Jesus' teachings about the Kingdom. A seemingly particular question about divorce allowed Jesus to address a subject of great importance for spiritual life. The question itself (v. 3) was a traditional one in rabbinic theological schools, and representatives of different schools answered it differently, proposing different criteria for allowing divorce.
Jesus immediately sets the highest possible standard: divorce is inadmissible in principle; it is possible only when one party has failed to remain faithful, thereby effectively destroying the marriage bond (v. 9). Everything else is a concession to human sinfulness and 'hardness of heart' (vv. 7–8). It should be noted that 'hardness of heart' here means not cruelty but the heart's rigidity, stubbornness and inflexibility, an unwillingness to accept a person as they are. As Jesus' words imply, this is what gives rise to the desire for divorce when marital infidelity is not at issue.
Jesus reminds us that God originally intended the marital union to be unique and unrepeatable for each married couple, so that the union of the two embraced not only body and soul but also the person's spiritual self, making the two a single whole. Such a union cannot fall apart by definition, and a human being certainly has no right to destroy a unity they did not create and that is not under their control (vv. 4–6).
But Jesus' disciples seem to have understood that He is speaking of relationships possible only in the Kingdom, not in our world, which has not yet been fully transfigured. They answer that in that case it is better not to bind oneself in marriage, since one cannot live in our world as people live in the Kingdom (v. 10)! Then Jesus says something that makes us look quite differently both at our age and at our own lives. He answers directly that what He has said is not for everyone, but only for those who 'can receive it' (v. 11). Judging by the fact that the subject turns to the Kingdom, His words can be properly understood only when it becomes an unquestionable and evident reality for the listener (v. 12). Only then can a person make a conscious choice for family life or celibacy. Both are possible, but not according to the laws of this world, where marital relations and their absence are determined exclusively or chiefly by natural causes and prevailing circumstances. Rather, they are possible according to the laws of the Kingdom, where both marital relations and abstaining from them are determined by a person's choice, connected with their ministry and their life in the Kingdom. Only then will there be no place in a person's life for either a chance marriage or a chance divorce, and marital relations will be what God intended them to be.