NOTES for Mat 26:57-75
Today's reading completes the theme of the apostles' betrayal and falling away, telling us about Peter's denial (vv. 69-75). Peter's image in this passage proves to be key: at the very beginning it speaks of Peter following Jesus from a distance, secretly (v. 57), and it ends with the mention of the rooster's crow, which meant that Jesus' prophecy had been fulfilled (vv. 74-75). Here too Peter remains true to himself: he evidently remembers the promise he gave the Teacher to remain with Him to the end, and now, as best he can, he fulfills it. He, of course, cannot change anything, but at least he wants to see everything.
It is not hard to guess that all Peter's attention is fixed on Jesus; he has neither strength nor time for anything else, and the tense sleepless night, of course, could not pass without a trace. And precisely at this moment attention is drawn to him, and he is told that he too was with Jesus. Peter expects nothing of the kind; he probably remembered his promises, but everything had turned out meaningless, the messianic war had ended before it had even begun, and now, when everything was over, there was no longer any question of faithfulness. Perhaps that is why he denies Him so easily, in passing, without even having time to understand properly what is happening.
Apparently for Peter, as for the other apostles, Jesus was inseparable from their own ideas about Him, just as He was inseparable from their ideas about the cause in which they intended to take such an active part. Now, however, when it turned out that there would be no "cause," there could no longer be any question of betrayal: at first glance, there was no one and nothing to betray. If everything is over, if there will be no Kingdom, what does it matter whether Peter knew Jesus or not? One can remain faithful even to the memory of the dead, but what sense is there in admitting participation in a conspiracy that never happened?
But then the rooster crowed, and Peter seemed to awaken, shaking off the spiritual numbness that had seized him after the failed attempt to defend the Teacher in the Garden of Gethsemane. And it immediately became clear to him what had happened. Perhaps for the first time he understood that he loved the Teacher not only as the leader of His supporters and not even only as the Messiah, but also as a close friend whom, as it must have seemed to him, he was losing forever. And he understood that he had denied not a failed uprising, but this love. A love that can be regained only through repentance.
And Peter, having understood everything, truly repents. He leaves the courtyard, realizing that faithfulness to the Teacher must be preserved in a completely different way from what he had thought before (v. 75). And this repentance saves him: very soon he will meet again the already risen Teacher, who will accept his repentance (John 21:15-18). An unrepentant apostate becomes a traitor, like Judas; a repentant apostate remains a faithful disciple, like Peter.