NOTES for Mat 10:32-36
How should we understand Jesus' words about household members who become enemies? One can, of course, see in them a reference to a fairly ordinary family conflict, when people living under one roof differ so much in views and worldview that they become ideological enemies. But there would be nothing special or unusual in that; it has happened in every age and for many different reasons. Meanwhile, Jesus' words clearly receive their meaning only in the context of everything He said about the Kingdom. Here the matter is no longer a question of worldview or ideological disagreements, but of something far more serious.
What, in fact, can one expect if one tries to combine under one roof life according to the laws of the Kingdom and life according to the laws of this world? Clearly, nothing except conflict, and a conflict almost impossible to resolve. When the matter concerns ideological or worldview disagreements, it is still possible to look for some compromises, mutual concessions, and, in the end, mutual acceptance. But the Kingdom and the world that lies in evil are in no way compatible, and here no other ties or relationships will save the situation, not even ties of blood.
Moreover, blood ties can turn out in this case to be the main problem, since they are perhaps the strongest natural tie possible in human relationships. But their nature remains part of the untransformed world; in its untransformed form it by no means brings the people bound by them closer to the Kingdom, but instead only leads them away from it.
Paradoxically, open conflict and even a break in this case can be more spiritually useful than a situation of ambiguous peace, full of things left unsaid and fraught with daily low-grade conflicts. Only when everyone living under one roof has made the Kingdom their chief goal can the situation change radically and family ties become part of the relationships of the Kingdom. But these ties will no longer be based on blood kinship, but on spiritual kinship.