NOTES for Sa2 19:1-43
In Joab's eyes, David's grief over Absalom is not only excessive but also insulting. And yet David grieves not only over the death of his son, but also over the split among the people. David's desire to be reconciled with recent enemies fits poorly into the minds of warriors who have just fought against them, but reconciliation is necessary for a return to normal life. For this same reason David also forgives the defectors who had gone over from him to Absalom and, after Absalom's defeat, again began to move toward David.
It would appear that the split among the people can be brought to an end; in any case, efforts are being made for this. But no: after one crack, another grows. Disagreements between the two parts of the people come to the surface. The dispute between the Judahites and the Israelites over which of them should accompany the king, alas, was not an ordinary squabble and did not even become a continuation of old disputes and disagreements. In this conflict there appeared the same spirit of hostility and disunion, which is far harder to overcome than enemies are to defeat.