Continuing his discussion of the life of the Kingdom, Paul turns to the theme of family relationships, the relationships between spouses (vv. 22-28). At first glance, this theme is not directly connected with the apostle's preceding reflections: marriage is only a particular case of relationships between neighbors. And yet that is not quite so. Already from the time of the prophet Hosea, marital relations became the model by which relations between God and the human person, or between God and the people of God, were described. Likeness to marital relations became traditional both for Yahwism and for Judaism. And Paul, likening the relationship between Christ and the Church to family relationships, is clearly following this tradition.

But he goes still further: he likens marital relations themselves to the relationship between Christ and the Church (vv. 24-27). In doing so, the apostle refers to the story in Genesis about the creation of the human being (vv. 31-32), which speaks of a depth of marital relations that far surpasses any natural bonds conditioned only by the laws of nature, even bonds as deep as the relationship between children and parents (Gen 2:22-24).

Apparently Paul was trying to convey a simple thought to the readers of his letter: between people created by God in His image and likeness, there can in principle be no "nonspiritual" relationships conditioned by natural laws alone. Family relations were the clearest example in this case. It is precisely here that the natural, physical bond becomes especially visible, so visible that fallen humanity, often failing to notice spiritual realities, has often been inclined to reduce the whole meaning of relations between man and woman to it. On the one hand, such an approach inevitably leads to the destruction of the family, impoverishing marriage and often making it completely meaningless. But the "justification" of marriage so common in religious circles, by childbearing as its only purpose and as something conditioned exclusively by the need to continue the human race, also turns out to be a distortion of the idea of marriage as Paul understands it.

Marital relations, like all other relationships, need no justification before our still untransformed world and no grounds built according to its laws. Their only justification and their only basis is in the Kingdom. If they root those whom they bind in it, they are infinitely precious and absolutely justified in the eyes of God, and marital relations then also become an absolute value in themselves (vv. 31-33). But if this does not happen, they will never become part of the Kingdom, however powerful their natural foundation may be and however deep and strong they may seem to those whom they bind.

How much controversy this passage usually provokes when we seek not an “official position,” but an honest answer to the question: what do these words mean for us? For me personally? Men, of course, often choose verse 22 for theological reflection: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord,” while women prefer to philosophize about verse 25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church.” We all seek to justify our own demands on our spouse or on the whole human race. Yet these words were spoken “for me,” not “for the other person.” Notice that the Apostle Paul did not say, “Husbands, force your wives to submit.” Nor did he say the reverse: “Wives, demand from your husbands a love as self-sacrificing as Christ's.” Thus both self-sacrificing love and submission—which, in the relationship Paul describes, are two halves of a single whole, married love—are things we must discover and cultivate in ourselves, rather than trying to instill them in another person.