NOTES for Mat 18:15

How simple and obvious everything is: a problem has arisen between the two of you, so first of all solve it together. But why is everything the opposite with us: we discuss our damaged relationships with anyone at all, but not with the one we should? Perhaps we are afraid that a direct conversation will reveal the shakiness of our own position, or even the rightness of our "opponent." Or perhaps we do not like that, if our rightness becomes clear, we will have to forgive, and no one will learn of our magnanimity. In any case, by all this gossip and backbiting we try to raise our "rating" in the eyes of other people at the cost of humiliating and condemning our brother, and by that we lose him. The risk of losing in a direct conversation is frightening, but the possible "gain" is great: to gain your brother.