NOTES for Mat 19:1-12

"Can one divorce for any reason?" In other words, is there anything that binds a man and a woman when their feelings no longer draw them toward each other so strongly? What answers can be heard to this question? "Nothing binds them" (that is, one can divorce for any reason); "Mutual obligations bind them" (but how great is the value of a human word?); "Duty to society binds them" (but love can hardly be compared in value with civic duty...); "Children bind them" (yes, if they are taken into account).

Christ gives a different answer: a man and a woman are bound by the design for creation; that is, God Himself joins them. And He does this not through commandments and prohibitions on divorce, since law cannot generate love (something the Mosaic law wisely takes into account); He joins them by His presence in the relationship itself, acting by His wisdom and love in those who trust Him.

We cannot fail to notice that in today's Gospel reading Christ reveals to us the way in which God chose to be present in our world. Where two or three are gathered in His name, there He is in our midst. It is precisely this union of us in His name that God expects from us, and when it happens, He unfailingly comes to us. For if two of us agree to ask God for something together, He cannot fail to be present, because it was precisely for such agreement and union that He created us. The reverse is also true: for us to find ourselves in God's presence and come to Him, we must agree with one another. This means that what becomes significant for us is not our personal problems, but another person and that person's life. And this is an essential aspect of our likeness to God.

John the Baptist died because he condemned Herod Antipas's second marriage. Perhaps the Pharisees ask Jesus this question in order to provoke Him into saying something that would likewise anger the tetrarch. At that time, divorce in Jewish families generally took place at the man's initiative; opposite cases were extremely rare and required special circumstances. If a man was unfaithful, it was considered that he sinned against the other man with whose wife he had sinned. Jesus, however, speaks of faithfulness to one's own wife, thus establishing equality between man and woman in marriage, and this was new. But there is more. The Lord returns us to His original design for us. He joins us in love for one another so that no one may separate us again. For whoever has not learned faithfulness to one person cannot know faithfulness to the one God. This is why, in biblical symbolism—as can be seen especially clearly, for example, in the Revelation of John the Theologian—sexual immorality is often a symbol of paganism.

Let us notice that the question about divorce is asked by the Pharisees, who were used to clarifying legal subtleties. But from the subtleties of interpreting the law, Jesus brings them back to the meaning of the creation of man and woman, to the God-given possibility of their unity, which surpasses human legal arrangements. At the same time Christ notes that Moses' ruling on divorce was dictated by human reasons. In doing so He Himself testified that among what tradition has preserved there are also human elements. But they do not cancel the fact that, at its foundation, Revelation was given to us from above. And now Jesus proclaims the indissolubility of marriage as the norm established from the beginning.

In our time it is hard to accept these words and even harder to fulfill them. Marriages fall apart easily and are not regarded as permanent unions; even for many who come into the Church, it is already too late to keep the commandment of one marriage. Perhaps the words whoever is able to accept this, let him accept it may serve as consolation. But a merciful attitude toward those who cannot fulfill the commandment with complete precision does not cancel what has been established as the norm that was meant to prevail in the world.

It is hard to understand why the disciples tried to keep children from coming to Christ. Perhaps they thought that only adults, people capable of understanding His words, dared come to the Teacher. But He can become close to every age.

Christ's call to let the children come to Him and not hinder them answers the question of when Christian upbringing and entry into the Church can begin. There is no need to wait for the age of conscious understanding; He loves us from the womb and can reveal Himself to us at any age.

Indeed, not everyone can accept this saying. If this is the "duty of a man toward his wife," if now you cannot exist on your own, but have become one flesh (that is, one body, one human being) with someone else, and if you are completely unprepared for such a step, then it is better not to marry. After all, the Pharisees, as always expressing the common human point of view, ask Jesus: is there no way to combine pleasure with usefulness? Is it not possible to be one flesh for a while, until it becomes very hard and painful, and then step back?

Almost every moral dilemma of modern humanity falls into this category of questions: how can we make things good without making them difficult? In response, Christ exposes them not for cowardice, not for irresponsibility, not for selfishness, but for hardness of heart, for the inability to see the beauty of God's design for the unity of man and woman, for the inability to love truly and deeply. It appears that all our problems connected with marriage and family arise precisely from hardness of heart, from the deadening of the organ of love.