NOTES for Act 9:20-21

In today's reading from Acts we see how the twelve apostles do not accept one more future apostle, Paul. In a time of persecution, the Teacher's words that they too would be persecuted surely rise in their memory. Some of them, Peter for example, know very well the price of words. They understand that just as they themselves were able to deny Christ an hour after swearing loyalty to Him, so someone who appears to have become "one of their own" may turn out, when tested, to be an informer. All the more so when this is the kind of person's coming about whom their Lord had warned them: "Indeed, the hour is coming when whoever kills you will think he is offering service to God" (John 16:2).

The apostles, simply because of human fear, forget that their Teacher turns every human weakness upside down and transforms it into a strength that can serve Him. Just as He accepted them despite the fact that they betray Him, though they know Him and know Who He is, so He is free to forgive His own zealous persecutor and make him His great servant.

Saul begins his ministry, and now he has to endure the very same persecution to which he himself had only recently subjected others. Saul was probably ready for this; he may even have regarded what was happening to him as atonement for what he had done. But Saul’s conversion meant trials not only for him, but also for many of his new brothers. Saul’s arrival in the Church put to the test the ability of many of them to forgive a sinner, to show mercy to someone who had repented, and not to hold old sins against him as a lasting guilt, thereby exalting themselves by comparison with him.

We know that the members of the early Church managed to withstand this temptation and, despite their initial wariness, accepted Saul. But the problem still exists today, and it is no accident that in the parable of the prodigal son Christ also spoke about his obedient elder brother...

Today we read about the conversion of Saul, an event that not only turned his life upside down, but also in many ways determined the course of Christian history. Such conversions do not happen often, but they have happened and continue to happen. In essence, every person sooner or later meets God on his path. This meeting often overturns a person's consciousness in much the same way as happened with Paul. He considered himself a servant of God, but turned out to be His enemy, and the reverse was also true: he thought Jesus was his enemy, but He turned out to be his Lord, his life, his calling.

In fact, such an overturning of consciousness is called repentance (in Greek, "metanoia," a "change of mind"). When a person suddenly sees that his whole life is a persecution of Christ, which he carries out inside himself or among those near and far from him, the mercy of the persecuted Son of God is also revealed to him. He will not only accept him among His disciples, but will also lay on him a new mission: not to tear apart, but to build up Christ's Church.

Today’s reading brings us back once more to the question of the boundaries and limits of religion. It tells us of Saul’s conversion to Christ, after which he will enter the history of the Church under the name of the apostle Paul. There is no doubt that Saul was sincerely religious and utterly convinced in his religiosity: for the sake of his convictions he was ready both to die and to kill (vv. 1–2). He was utterly merciless, but religion that knows neither the Kingdom nor God’s love is always like that: it appeals to values that seem to it far more important than human life. Yet Saul’s merciless zeal was entirely sincere: from the outset he wanted only to do God’s will and was utterly convinced that, by persecuting Christians, he was doing it in the best possible way. Of course, it was quite impossible to persuade such a person otherwise. Conversion in the sense in which the word is often understood today was also impossible for him: for a person today, “conversion” most often means either adopting a religion or changing from one religion to another, and Saul would certainly not have agreed to that even under threat of death.

But it is precisely such servants that Christ needs: faithful to the end and ready for anything. And He makes Saul His servant—He does what no one else could have done, for no one else could have revealed the Kingdom in such fullness. He allows His future servant to experience and feel what the Kingdom is and who He Himself is (vv. 3–5). And then Saul is converted. It was not human words that convinced him, but the encounter with the Risen One and the experience of the Kingdom. Yet Christian conversion can only be like this: it is conversion to Christ and to the Kingdom, not the adoption of a new religion or a change from one religion to another.

Once converted, Saul remains the same active Saul: his first question to the Risen One is, what am I to do next (v. 6)? His sincere and energetic nature could not bear inactivity, and God makes use of these qualities in the new convert: very soon Saul begins to preach, bearing witness to Jesus’ messiahship and Resurrection (vv. 20–30). He gives no thought either to his former views or to what those who knew him in a quite different capacity will say about him. It is not that Saul was unaccustomed to reflection; it is simply that, evidently, the impression made by his encounter with the Risen One on the Damascus road was so great that he could not refrain from telling others and bearing witness. What was revealed to Saul was not merely a new truth; the Messiah was revealed to him, and it was impossible to remain silent about such a revelation. Religion had come to an end: the fullness of the Kingdom had opened before the future apostle Paul.

The Book of Acts tells of the great turning points in the history of salvation and in the spread throughout the world of the message about Jesus. Almost every scene recounts either astonishing miracles or momentous turning points in the lives of people who later became great luminaries of the Church. But a reasonable question may arise: how do all these outstanding events relate to the life of an individual, an ‘ordinary person,’ such as those who have always made up the overwhelming majority of the human race?

Apparently, Luke included all these striking and grand scenes from the history of early Christianity largely as illustrations, as particularly memorable examples of what God does in the life of every person He touches with His Spirit. And although people encounter God in different situations and in different ways, certain elements are always present—above all, the divine call and a shaking of the foundations of human life. Jesus says that ‘no one can come to Me unless the Father draws him’ (Jn 6:44). Moreover, this heavenly call or ‘voice’ cannot be earned by anything; ultimately, it cannot even be explained. The case of the persecutor Saul, who became the apostle Paul, is a striking confirmation of this. God alone knows the movements of a person’s heart and the twists and turns of their life. Another matter is that a person is not always ready to answer the call with complete seriousness and commitment. Incidentally, this too happens for reasons unknown to us. But if someone responds to God in kind—trust for trust, love for love—then their life, the life of a seemingly quite insignificant little person, becomes part of the great history of salvation. Through him or her, ‘the mighty works of God’ begin to be accomplished; he or she becomes ‘God’s chosen vessel,’ ‘filled with the Spirit,’ and takes part in building a new world that could embody all God’s most cherished purposes and dreams.

The Lord had prepared a surprise for Ananias. Ananias was plainly quite ready for God to speak to him. But even he did not expect this: to go to Saul of Tarsus, about whom everyone knows that he persecutes Christians and has come to Damascus with one purpose, to root out Christianity.

Ananias is shocked. But he does not reject the vision (though he could have said: going to Saul is madness, so this is not a vision but delirium). On the other hand, he does not argue with God; he does not say, "No, Lord, I am not going anywhere." He clarifies: "Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to Your saints, and here in Damascus he also wants to persecute Your Church..." In answer, the Lord does not say whether this is true or not (evidently because it is already known that it is true); He says: "Go, because I have chosen him."

And Ananias makes the only right decision: he simply goes and does what the Lord told him.