NOTES for Co1 7:12-13

In our time Paul's words about marriage are no less relevant now than they were in the first century AD. In modern society, being a believer is more laughable and strange than normal. And this can coexist quite well with formal respect for the Bible. Yes, sometimes one can refer to it on occasion and this will even evoke respect, but a person who builds his life in accordance with Scripture sooner or later will feel the puzzled looks, and that at best, of acquaintances and colleagues. Our faith still remains a stumbling block and foolishness even for the closest people, the members of our family. Unfortunately, sometimes this lack of understanding begins to destroy the family from within, and the believer's own role in this is not so small. At first we rush to convert our husband or wife, pouring out arguments and quotations from the Bible with all the heat of our heart, forgetting that each person's path to God is individual; there are no laws and rules here. It is a personal conversation, and even a husband or wife is superfluous in it. And then, if our close person is not converted that very second, we become angry with him, and then we wall ourselves off and withdraw.

But in fact these words about marriage are only part of the apostle's main appeal: "Let each one remain before God in the calling in which he was called." It is hard for Christians to live in this world; there are too many temptations and distractions. One very much wants to shut oneself up in a narrow circle of friends who understand and are close in spirit, to pretend that the world does not exist. But Christ, through Paul's lips, calls us to go into the world, not away from the world. So that we, remaining there, in that very place in life where we met God, may carry the Good News into the world, the News of the Resurrection. So that by our life we may bear witness that one can live differently, not competing and defeating, but loving and forgiving. And this includes our family.

Reflecting on the life of the Kingdom, Paul comes to the conclusion that everyone is fit for it, regardless of social status (v. 24). Such a conclusion is natural: if the Kingdom, according to the Savior's word, is "not of this world," then neither a Christian's material nor social position can in any way affect his life in this Kingdom. But it can affect the possibility of bearing witness to the Kingdom. If, for example, one spouse, after conversion, considers it possible to break off relations with his or her other half simply because relations with him or her have stopped being important, such a breakup will naturally become not witness but anti-witness: the rejected husband or rejected wife in that case may reasonably conclude that the new life of the converted spouse is not for them. That is why the apostle apparently considers it necessary for the convert to remain in the family, provided the other spouse does not object and does not demand divorce (vv. 12-16).

For one who has turned to Christ, the family should, as far as possible, be a place of witness and not anti-witness. In the same way, any other human position can become either witness or anti-witness. Thus, for example, the apostle urges both Jews ("the circumcised") and recent pagans converted to Christ to remain what they are, and to do so quite openly (vv. 18-20). The religious differences between Jews and recent pagans were often striking, but their spiritual unity within one community could become the best witness to the reality of the Kingdom, for which religious differences are secondary. The impossibility and absence of this unity, by contrast, would become anti-witness, only confirming that Christianity is not life in the Kingdom at all, but merely one more new religion, no better, though perhaps no worse, than any other.

Of course, there can also be situations in which it would be worth trying to change the position in which one finds oneself. Paul, for example, is firmly convinced that legal dependence is not the best option, and he suggests that slaves free themselves from the condition of slavery if possible (v. 21). The point is not that, being a slave, a person cannot be a resident of the Kingdom (vv. 22-23), but that a free person has more opportunities to bear witness to this Kingdom than a slave does. Of course, a slave can sometimes have more spiritual freedom than someone who is legally free, but formal legal freedom can nevertheless become an earthly image of the spiritual freedom of the residents of the Kingdom, and the apostle suggests not missing the chance to obtain this outward freedom if such a chance appears.

What is the Apostle Paul not accused of? Of expressing himself obscurely, of making it possible to misinterpret his words. But most of all, of the fact that today’s text leaves no loopholes. Choose your path responsibly and follow it. Physical love in marriage is indispensable. It is not sufficient for peace, but it is necessary. Divorce is impermissible; fidelity is obligatory. One spouse’s unbelief cannot serve as grounds for destroying the family. How often one hears accusations directed at the Apostle: he supposedly failed to understand everything and cannot give any advice because he himself was never married; besides, he too was human and therefore must have made a mistake somewhere. But such arguments arise precisely when people need to justify what, deep down, even the accusers themselves cannot justify—when they want to find the guilty party anywhere except in their own heart. The Apostle is simply telling us that the family is sanctified by God regardless of changes in our views. Once we have chosen this path, our task is to follow it to the end. Or else to live as he did.