NOTES for Jo1 4:18

Why is there “no fear in love”? Why does the fact that fear involves torment make fear an obstacle on the path of love? After all, it may seem that we often suffer when we love. If we think about it, then no, not often.

We suffer if a person does not return our love, that is, when we fear that we are not loved enough in return or that we have been undervalued. Then this is not love, but longing for another person and wounded self-esteem. Perfect love would simply desire the other person's happiness, without self-pity.

We suffer from fear for someone we love... But such fear is doubt in the loved one, if the person is an adult, and distrust of God, if it is a child. Responsibility for a child that prompts us to protect him or her from danger is part of parental love; but panicked fear that something might happen to the child is no sign of greater maternal or paternal feeling.

Fear often appears in relationships: fear of hurting or being hurt, fear of not giving enough love or showing excessive ardor, fear of being oneself, fear of not being accepted... There are very many fears, but they all have one thing in common: fear creates a barrier. It is like a small partition that inevitably increases the distance between people and makes it difficult for the warm current of true love to cross, the love that is God, the love that grants the encounter of person with person and person with God.